o0o 8:34 PM, Tuesday October 20, 1998 o0o

Hello, let us get the technical aspects out of the way first.

Belong now has an alternative to the the little grey 3.0 layout called simple belong. This new layout uses a much simpler design that should work with IE3 and Netscape 2, though I'm not sure if Netscape 2 can handle the Java script. The site map has been modified also.

Content has been added to belong too. There are new drawings and new 'puter art to satisfy the hungry masses, I've also fixed the problem with the thumbnails. You ask, "Which problem with the thumbnails?"

It wasn't until recently that I noticed the load times for the thumbnails and when I finally did I was appalled at how careless I'd been. So now all the thumbnail pages are under 40k and only 2 files need to load decreasing download time further. I used image maps, I think everything is more fun this way.

The me page has some new images of me and will hopefully have some words to accompany them soon.

Belong is approaching that much coveted 'ideal state' that incorporates the perfect blend of content and layout or at least to me it is, but Belong still needs more... Something.

I think that the words section needs better arrangement, I want to add a new section that has super short stories depicting brief encounters and experiences I've had. Somewhere on a sheet of paper in one of my many notebooks there is a short story that would fit beautifully in this category, and if/when I find it I'm hoping I'll be inspired to make this idea a reality.

I want to add poems and present them differently than they currently are. I know I have a bunch of poems somewhere and when I find them, if they're not too horrible or too personal, I'll add them and redesign the poems section. I may want to add a dream section too, but I've been horrible with recording my dreams lately so that probably wont come to pass.

Belong is a personal site, so my ultimate goal should be for my audience to know me simply by pursuing this site. The journal section shares a wealth of knowledge about me, if one is looking, but I want something more. I always want something more, perhaps this is a character flaw?

I was reading parts of this journal earlier today and came across my rant on organized religion. my attitude toward the institution hasn't changed, but my views on God have. I'm no longer an adamant believer. It takes just as much faith to believe there is a god as it does to believe there is not. I don't have a steadfast opinion any more.

I believe that the need to believe is primarily motivated by fear of death and the after-life, a fear of cessation or continuation. I have no such fear; I wouldn't be disappointed if this corporeal and very short existence was all that I will experience. Neither do I find comfort to bear those ills we have by believing that the after-life will be better. Without a strong expectation or need to fuel me I find it impossible to expel the energy necessary to believe. For those wondering: I let go of the expectation, let the ideal drift from my grasp and was content in doing so.

I doubt I'm alone. When asked, most of my friends said they where not afraid to die, only afraid of the pain associated with death. however, I don't know their personal belief systems, all I know is their basic philosophy on various organized religions. Expectations. We are all coming from different directions, I guess.

- Good night.

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